And that squandering this miracle is a crime – a horrible lack of appreciation for what I’ve been given. I know that each one of those limited days is a gift, a blessing… a miracle.
I don’t know how many that is, but I do know it’s a very limited number. Today is still a priceless gift (make the best of it). Then it doesn’t matter if someone thinks I didn’t do a good job – because I don’t always do a good job. The truth is, I can be many things, and remembering this helps me stretch my identity so it isn’t so fragile. And obviously I don’t always have great ideas either – because that’s impossible. I’m not always motivated - sometimes I am, but other times I’m feeling lazy. I’m not always productive – sometimes I am, but sometimes I’m unproductive too. My solution was to realize that I’m not just one thing.
When I wasn’t productive, it made me feel defeated because I began subconsciously worrying that I wasn’t who I thought I was. My identity of myself as someone who’s motivated and productive and has great ideas… this was getting in the way this morning. Someone falsely accuses us of something and this threatens our idea that we’re a good person, and so we get angry and attack the other person. People may question whether we did a good job, and this threatens our idea of being a competent person, so we become angry or hurt by the criticism. When this idea gets threatened, we react defensively. We all have this picture in our minds of ourselves – this idea of what kind of person we are. You are more than one thing (loosen up and stretch your identity). This means your suffering only ever occurs when you resist how things are in the present.Īlthough you can’t control everything that happens to you you can only control the way you respond to what happens. Remember, happiness is allowing yourself to be perfectly OK with ‘what is,’ rather than wishing for and worrying about ‘what is not.’ ‘What is’ is what’s supposed to be, or it would not be. When I caught myself doing this, I brought my focus back to the present. This morning my mind was ruminating about every time and place other than the time and place I was in. It is your resistance to ‘what is’ that causes your suffering (be present). Thus, thinking about others instead of oneself helps solve feelings of discouragement and defeat. The central question now is about what others need. I’m not doubting myself, because the question of whether I’m good enough or not is no longer the central question. Finding little ways to help others gets me out of my self-centered thinking, and then I’m not wallowing in self-pity anymore – I’m starting to think about what others need. So this morning, instead of worrying so much about myself, I thought about other people I might help. But this can have all kinds of adverse effects, from feeling sorry for ourselves when things aren’t going exactly as planned, to doubting ourselves when we aren’t perfect. I think we all have the tendency to put ourselves at the center of the universe, and see everything from the viewpoint of how it affects us. You are not the center of the universe (stop making it all about YOU). Here’s what works for me – seven things to keep in mind (and do) when you feel discouraged and defeated: 1. But the better part of me knew this mild state of depression was temporary, and so I dug into my own intellectual toolbox for solutions – little tricks of the mind that can have a real effect on reality. That’s what I was considering, at least for a little while. Should I just forget about today? Should I just give up on this project, because I’m not as good at it as I thought I was?
#Lowest graphics possible day of defeat source how to#
I sat there in this funk for nearly an hour and wondered how to get out of it. I started overthinking things and doubting myself, and wondering whether anything I do is worthwhile. I just felt completely discouraged and defeated. I couldn’t motivate myself to do anything important, which is a rare occurrence for me. It’s a combination of exhaustion from a few days of hard work, and a lack of sleep with a baby in the house. This morning I didn’t feel like doing anything. The worst enemy to productivity and creativity is self-pity.